Doug Francisco
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MUNCIE, Ind. — Sgt. William Porter, an active member of the Ku Klux Klan, was killed last night following a…
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LOS ANGELES — Game show contestant Karen Graham used her “phone-a-friend” lifeline to call local police on the $500 question…
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Jeremy Kaplowitz
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FRESNO, Calif. — New police helicopter video shows the massive response to accused WinRAR License thief Michael Ramsey as fifteen…
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Brett McCabe
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LOS ANGELES — Tired, aging 31-year-old punk David Kresner was relieved when police arrived at a record release show last…
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Patrick Coyne
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COLUMBUS, Ohio — A fuzzy little punk roommate known only as “Banjo” twitched adorably in his sleep yesterday, presumably dreaming…
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Tom Peters
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Looking out at the marina, my only thought between swigs of Pepto Bismol and Jim Beam cocktails is “what the…
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Edgar Towner
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DENVER — Local high schooler Jake Fritzler astounded his teachers today by scoring 1050 on the SAT despite entering nothing…
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Patrick Coyne
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LANCASTER, Pa. — Police officers on the scene of a texting and driving accident last night that claimed the life…
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Kevin Tit
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BETHESDA, Md. — A grande-sized pumpkin spice latte for Karen called the police moments ago on a black cold brew…
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Jay Chanoine
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SAN FRANCISCO — Members of Masked Intruder were placed under citizen’s arrest today by fellow punk band Bad Cop/Bad Cop…
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