PHILADELPHIA — Frequent PornHub uploader Tyler Jones was clearly going through some stuff as evidenced by the title of his latest entry, confirmed masturbators nationwide.…
How has it already been 25 years since 1999? 25 years since you were a naive pre-teen who hadn’t yet experienced the joy of turning…
WASHINGTON — Speaker of the House Mike Johnson is reportedly getting really into online porn in an effort to relieve stress related to the looming…
Whether you’re a parent trying to educate your children, a nostalgic ‘90s kid, or just an idiot who still needs basic science explained to you,…
PIKETON, Ohio — A Dell XPS desktop computer belonging to the Piketon Public Library is starting to get nervous upon hearing reports that remote learning…
ST. LOUIS — Frustrated siblings, Andrea and Nino Shore, finally decided that it was time to sit their aging parents down and give the exact…
AUSTIN, Texas — An algorithm designed to protect public school children from inappropriate content has suspended the Zoom account of Hillsummit Elementary School’s health teacher,…
MECHANICSBURG, Pa. — Aspiring music producer Tommy Kent spent the overwhelming majority of his most recent mix session uninstalling and reinstalling Pro Tools, cackling family…
SAN FRANCISCO — Christine Walker’s longest-running relationship is with a travel guide to Kyoto that’s been open as a browser tab on her laptop for…
LAS VEGAS — Local gamer Aaron Byrne ascended from his homemade backyard bunker sobbing today, lamenting the loss of the one piece of hardware that…
ANN ARBOR, Mich. — Local gamer Madison Sutton, 12, hoped to find a PS5 video game console under the Christmas tree this morning, but instead…
NEW YORK — Estimating that his components could continue providing decent performance even several years in the future when he realizes that his best years…
MONTREAL — PornHub I.T. guy Dewey Palmer helped a fellow employee troubleshoot their malfunctioning computer this morning by suggesting they “jack the computer off, then…
MENLO PARK — With a wave of disappointment washing over himself for squandering another potentially productive day, an employee at Facebook headquarters was reportedly distraught…
DURHAM, N.C. — Rising data entry star Stuart Carroll is hospitalized today following a freak tech deck accident, which doctors fear could mark the end…