Listen up, you self-employed sociopaths! Is post-nasal drip getting you down? Do you lose feeling in your feet every single…
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Dan Kozuh
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ANAHEIM, Cali. — Local middle-aged man Shawn Hampton felt the full effects of venti Starbucks cold-brew and told friends that…
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Allegra Ringo
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PHOENIX — 35-year-old Cassie Lozano is in critical condition after she foolishly came to the conclusion she needed to limit…
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Goodrich Gevaart
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WASHINGTON — The Straight Edge Supreme Court will hear arguments this week in the case of Lewis v. Monster Energy…
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Sophie Len
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PALMDALE, CA — Customers and baristas of The Catalyst Coffee Shop were shaken to their core Sunday afternoon when sick…
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Heather Cook
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NEW YORK — Local depressive Naomi Roman was teetering on the brink of mental collapse Thursday morning until her suicidal…
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NEW HAVEN, Conn. — Local man Trevor Good blamed his morning coffee habit for the constant nervous chatter in his…
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Daniel Arnold
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TACOMA, Wash. — Local coffee aficionado Sage Davis claimed today that he finally perfected his method for brewing the perfect…
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John Danek
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CAMBRIDGE, Mass. — Scientists at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology’s Department of Physics announced today the theoretical discovery of the…
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