LOS ANGELES — Netflix programmers are reportedly working on a new feature that lets viewers just say they’ve already seen the Jason Batemen-led crime drama…
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SCOTTSDALE, Ariz. — Local Amazon Prime delivery driver Dave Eisner treated his girlfriend of one year last night to a necklace that’s been stashed in…
Move over Sekiro! If you’re looking for a new game that’s insanely difficult, I may have discovered the new Dark Souls: this stupid CAPTCHA that’s preventing…
LOS ANGELES — The traditional office space callout of “Kobe” when shooting a wadded up ball of paper into a waste basket will now be…
PHOENIX — Lifelong punk Roddy Scotts assured a potential employer in an interview yesterday that, in five years, he sees himself posthumously headlining a benefit…
BOSTON — Local record store owner Hank Lapkus is an anxious mess lately, spending every day hoping his customers don’t find out about the popular…
CAMBRIDGE, Mass. — Behavioral scientists at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology announced a breakthrough discovery of a theoretical fourth option for occupying a person’s hands…
PORTLAND, Maine — Metalcore frontman and obvious liar Zander Dekay claimed at a show last Friday that he “can’t hear the motherfuckers in the back”…
TAMPA, Fla. — Local data entry clerk Frank Richmond, 27, was reportedly released from a Groundhog Day-esque time loop, which he claims to have not…
BATTLEFIELD — After a heartbreaking loss, an orange Inkling girl reportedly spiked her Splattershot to the ground and stormed offstage while hurling insults back at…
UNITED STATES – The hacktivist group known as Anonymous released a list containing the names, addresses, contact information, Spotify playlists, and parental income for more…
BALTIMORE — A crowdfunding campaign began last week in support of indie band Shredded Gnar after a pair of Vans sneakers were stolen from their…
RIO DE JANEIRO – Tensions mounted at the Olympics today, as Republican presidential nominee Donald Trump continued to insist on keeping heavy surveillance on the…
NEW YORK — The Democratic National Committee officially offered to help the organizers of the New Year’s Eve festivities in Times Square drop the ball…
ROCHESTER, N.Y. — Lakewood Insurance employee Derrick Glover reportedly called his boss this morning to ask (since he can really do everything he does in…
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