I am not a racist. I’m friends with all sorts of different colors of people. Black, white, brown, beige, khaki. Hell, I even love that purple guy from the Marvel movie, Thanos. Love that dude! When it comes to people, I really don’t see color.
Unless you’re electric lime green. Then FUCK YOU!
Listen, I don’t wanna hear any nonsense about “Hey, it’s not fair to judge someone by the color of their skin” or “There’s actually no such thing as electric lime green people” or “I don’t think you’re taking the divorce well.” Blah blah blah. That’s how they get you! You say they’re not real and the next thing ya know we got Meanie Greenies coming over from God-knows-where! They’re stealing your land, taking your job at Gas City, having hot, passionate sex with your ex-wife Cindy, the list goes on.
Remember 9/11? You damn well better. Well imagine 9/11 but times a hundred. That’s 91,100! Yeah. And it could happen if the Meanie Greenies have their way. I say we do a preemptive strike and lock ‘em all up as soon as they get here from whatever contaminated cesspool they crawled out of. I mean, they’re both electric and green for God’s sake. I don’t care about the content of your character when the color of your skin looks like it could give me cancer.
Actually, no. Screw it. BAN THE MEANIE GREENIES! Lessen the chance of them doing another 9/11. They did 9/11, right?
As usual, I repeat: I AM NOT A RACIST. But if you’re an electric lime green person, I’m sorry but get the fuck out of my country! Nuff said! Plain and simple! END OF STORY!
Also if you’re reading this and you’re my ex-wife, Cindy, please come back to me. Unless it’s true what they say, “Once you go green… I lose touch with reality.”