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Unable to Find Job, Milo Goes Back to College

MANHATTAN BEACH, Calif. — Milo Aukerman, licensed biochemist and lead singer of seminal punk band the Descendents, announced that he will return to college to pursue a more marketable degree following a layoff from his longtime research position earlier today.

“Yeah, I love the band and I love biochemistry, and for a long time, that was all I ever really wanted to do,” said Aukerman who originally left his band to pursue higher education decades ago, a decision forever captured on the Descendents’ 1982 debut album Milo Goes To College. “But neither is keeping the lights on anymore.”

“I’m heading back to school for an Associate in health studies. I always wanted to be a gym teacher, and being a public educator seems like a good bet, you know? Those jobs aren’t going anywhere,” he added.

Aukerman recently sold his longtime residence and is now renting the guest bedroom of a married couple while he attends Glendale Community College.

“It’s been great having Milo around. With the cutbacks in science programs, album residuals, and concert revenue he needed a bit of help and we were happy to provide it,” said Clare Clifton, one of the homeowners. “He may play his records a little loud sometimes, but he’s really a great kid. I think he’s going to be a terrific middle school teacher.”

Some of Aukerman’s classmates were surprised to learn of his stature in the music world.

“Wait … that old guy who says, ‘Mug, mug mug,’ before every sip of coffee in my American History class did the soundtrack to that movie The Descendants?” asked Brian Kennedy, a fellow GCC student. “That’s so cool! I never saw it, but George Clooney is my dude!”

The Descendents are expected to release a new album, Milo Goes to College Again, later this year, which will chronicle the Aukerman’s struggle to secure student loans for his books and classes.

Photo via The Descendents.