15. LSD and the Search for God “Backwards” (2007)

It’s not totally evident what made this party more angry: This LSD and the Search for God track or that piece of wedding cake that went missing before the bride and groom got to performatively cut it in front of everyone. I’m sorry, you trying DJing on an empty stomach.

14. Ringo Deathstarr “Stare at the Sun” (2015)

Not even table seven can get behind this one despite being the only ones taking full advantage of the open bar. Alcohol was the only hope for Ringo Deathstarr to succeed here. C’mon, gin and tonic. Do your thing.

13. Wisp “Your face” (2024)

This Wisp jam is only making everyone longingly stare out the window, which is exactly the goal of a wedding. We must somberly reflect on our decisions to spend $10,000 on floral arrangements for the sake of love. Mission accomplished.

12. Superheaven “Youngest Daughter” (2013)

Sure, TikTok embraced this one, but unless this is going to be one of those weddings that you share on your social media feeds and then every anniversary after that, this one will go over everyone’s heads.

11. pinkshinyultrablast “Holy Forest” (2015)

Unclear whether this is the type of crowd that enjoys bands with all lowercase names and no spaces. Judging by everyone staring at their phones, they’re either looking up pinkshinyultrablast on Spotify to confirm or trying to mentally disassociate from the event, which actually works just the same for shoegaze purposes.

10. DIIV “Somber the Drums” (2024)

It’s the mid-2020s and society is still producing ethereally proficient shoegaze like it’s the early ‘90s. No complaints here, unless you count the several dozen grievances from every single guest, catering staff member, and bartender who attended this wedding.

9. Nothing “Chloroform” (2014)

Nothing formed in 2010 and have been wreaking havoc on the wedding playlist circuit ever since. They seem like they never get the credit they deserve among the wedding parties of the world. Tonight doesn’t seem like the night for it either.

8. Drop Nineteens “Winona” (1992)

The bride’s name is absolutely not Winona, so let’s chock this one up to a small administrative oversight. Luckily, Drop Nineteens has several other tracks coming up on this playlist that don’t have first names in the title. That should surely right this sinking ship.

7. Pale Saints “Sight of You” (1990)

After one listen to Pale Saints, everyone at the reception will be clamoring for the aux cord. Luckily, as a wedding DJ, we only use technology that is exclusively compatible with 2013 devices. Your iPhone 15 Pro Max is no match for the shoegaze.

6. Lush “For Love” (1992)

Oh, here we go. This Lush song is called “For Love.” That should satisfy the love-starved crowd. But unfortunately, like all shoegaze, you cannot make out a single lyric. I guess that’s why they prefer the “Cha Cha Slide.” These people need lyrical clarity.

5. Whirr “Younger Than You” (2019)

It’s not often that a band’s name complements their sound so organically. Whirr really crushed on those regards. If only the groom’s grandparents could see things that way.

4. Cocteau Twins “Heaven or Las Vegas” (1990)

Cocteau Twins lean more on the dream pop spectrum, but this crowd is treating it exactly the same as shoegaze. It’s like they can’t differentiate between these genres when they just want to listen to that one song about doing shots.

3. Ride “Leave Them All Behind” (1992)

The only thing worse than a standard shoegaze track at a marriage function is one that is over eight minutes long. These guests were done with it in 30 seconds after realizing yet again that “Mr. Brightside” will not be part of this celebration of love.

2. Slowdive “When the Sun Hits” (1993)

“When the Sun Hits” is a certified wedding classic. That’s why it must be played for the bride and groom’s first dance, parent dance, and bouquet toss as well as to drown out the best man’s toast. No one came to hear that speech. They’re here for the Slowdive, presumably.

1. My Bloody Valentine “Loomer” (1991)

MBV’s “Loomer” is the Whitney Houston “I Wanna Dance With Somebody” of shoegaze, so it’s anyone’s guess why the dancefloor is desolate with not even a scuff mark to be found. Married people just don’t know shoegaze legends when they see it. This could be why most shoegaze fans are perpetually single.

Listen to the playlist: