We all know Valentine’s Day is a holiday created by the greeting card industry to remind single people how unlovable they are. But if we…
Here at The Hard Times we’ve got deadlines to meet and sometimes those deadlines sneak up on you a bit. So every now and then…
NASSAU, Bahamas — Pop/reggae fusion band Baha Men are hoping 2020 is the year Animal Planet finally incorporates their song, “Who Let the Dogs Out?”…
We’ve all done embarrassing stuff when we were young. William Frederick Jordan Durst, the auteur director who graced us all last summer with the psychological…
JACKSONVILLE, Fla. — Wes Borland, the assumed longtime guitarist of nü-metal band Limp Bizkit, was found to be a member of Mudvayne last week thanks…
SEATTLE — Local dishwasher Freddie Young is frustrated by his inability to find an artist willing to tattoo Death Grips lyrics anywhere on his body,…
KINGSTON, Jamaica — An ocean liner hosting the 311 Caribbean Festival Cruise struck a reef off the coast of Jamaica yesterday, spilling nearly 11 million…
I used to be a God-fearing man. A real fire-and-brimstone buff. But my faith in God aged just as poorly as my tattoo of Christian…
Rage Against the Machine is reuniting for some shows next year and I for one cannot wait to rock out live to my favorite rap-rock-punk-funk-metal…
Hey, thanks for picking me up — Wait, did you just restart that song so it was playing when I got in the car? Oh,…
I knew the risk when I bought tickets to see MF DOOM live. I heard all the stories of the enigmatic rapper sending other people…
Erica, oh my God, no! Erica? ERICA??! Nonononono please come back to me. This can’t be real. My beautiful Erica, snatched from me in the…
SPRINGVILLE, Ind. — Renowned Juggalo patriarch Killa Koppafield reportedly knows over 1,000 uses for the various flavors of Faygo, mystified sources confirmed. “You see my…
SPRINGVILLE, Ind. — Orthodox Juggalo Raymond Klotz anointed his whole body with makeup in anticipation of his yearly pilgrimage to the Gathering of the Juggalos,…
TUCSON — Local man and self-proclaimed introvert Dennis “Swip Donkey” Lawson is sort of hoping he and his friends can hold a smaller, more intimate…