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Nu Metal Dad Excited for Sweatshirt and Jorts Season

DES MOINES, Iowa — Local nu metal enthusiast, and father of four, David Trilling admitted Autumn is his favorite season so he can wear his comfiest giant sweatshirt and jort combo, multiple sources confirmed.

“I love it when the air is nice and crisp and I can bundle up on the couch in my Sevendust hoodie and watch my Woodstock ‘99 DVD with the kids,” said Trilling. “The summer months are just too hot. Yeah, at first I’m excited to bust out my black tank tops and warm-weather utility kilt, but the constant sunburns get old, and as soon as the mosquitos realize they can access my inner thigh they start feasting. I know I’m going to sound like a basic nu metal guy, but as soon as September hits I stock up on pumpkin spice-flavored vapes and bust out my cold-weather jorts. And if I really feel like getting into the season I’ll bust out my orange Etnies, those are always a big hit.”

Trilling’s wife Sheri agrees that nu metal style during the Fall months becomes more practical.

“In the Spring and Summer I’m always wearing a synthetic leather skirt with fishnet tights and it gets uncomfortable fast. But when the temperature drops I throw on my Adidas track pants and I feel like a million bucks, plus I can wear my Coal Chamber backpack to carry all the kids’ stuff without my back getting all sweaty,” said Mrs. Trilling. “And I don’t have to spend as much time on my hair in the morning. I just throw on one of the beanies I stole from the Family Values merch booth in 1998 and I’m good to go. It’s practical, and it looks great.”

Fashion expert Kiera Storm says most sub-culture fashion comes alive in September and October.

“We all know goths base their entire personality on the month of October, but Fall is important to everyone trying to fit in to the style choices of their preferred music genre. Now is the time for hardcore kids to bust out their Bane or American Nightmare hoodies and claim they are vintage, and not cheap bootlegs they bought last year,” said Storm. “And indie and emo fans can finally start wearing sweaters again, the most bold will often try to pair these with a new scarf, but most will bail on that idea as soon as they see a group of teenagers.”

At press time, Trilling also noted he will be growing out his typical summer soul patch into a goatee to prepare for the cold winter months.