LOS ANGELES — Legendary AFI frontman Davey Havok was overheard screaming “Do you know who I am?” at Harold’s Haunted Hayride employees while being forcibly…
Every Fall I watch you normies get all excited that “spooky season” is here once again. That means it’s time for you to put up…
Is there a more romantic season than fall, aside from spring, summer, and winter? When the leaves start changing colors and evenings get snuggly, it’s…
It’s that time of year again. The sun starts setting before lunch, you exchange your summer beanie for your cold weather beanie, and the Death…
DES MOINES, Iowa — Local nu metal enthusiast, and father of four, David Trilling admitted Autumn is his favorite season so he can wear his…
Sleeping. It is literally the goddamned best. You just lay there, you don’t have to do anything, you don’t even have to have thoughts. We…
Excuse me, did you just say white people don’t like spices? Well, how can that be the case when I’m on my third pumpkin spice…
SAN FRANCISCO — Local bar fly Brock Cooper accomplished the impossible after he tumbled down five full flights of stairs without spilling a single drop…
NEWBURGH, N.Y. — A romantic day-date activity was undergone and endured by a local couple early yesterday morning, sources who are glad to be back…
Fall is in the air and it’s time to bring the seasonal flair! Try these ten genius life hacks to up your autumn game this…
AMHERST, Mass. — Smorth College announced today that instead of face-to-face instruction, it will release its fall semester classes on vinyl, citing pandemic concerns. “This…
ALLSTON, Mass. — Teachers and students at Allston High School were enthusiastically told moments ago by goth classmate Willow Bates that pagans invented the entire…
SAN FRANCISCO — A young San Franciscan couple enjoyed the beginnings of autumn this weekend, relishing the sight of a homeless person in the Mission…
BETHESDA, Md. — A grande-sized pumpkin spice latte for Karen called the police moments ago on a black cold brew coffee sitting on the other…
PLEASANTON, Calif. — Local punk Jesse Watson is breaking out his collection of AFI records earlier and earlier each year, fellow seasonally sensitive sources confirmed.…