PARMA, Ohio — Local metal band Devilskull were relieved when they came to an agreement on a band name that only four other bands in the genre have used over the years, several skullet-clad sources report.
“I hate to sound like I’m bragging or something, but it was totally my idea to use Devilskull after checking the Metal Archives and seeing how infrequently bands go by this name,” explained guitarist Dean Mitchell. “There’s some band from Canada who were active in the 1980s named Devilskul, yeah. And another from some country like Bulgaria or something. But no one knows them, and unless we get booked on some metal fest in Central Europe I don’t think there will be any confusion. And since we only play the same bar every third Saturday of the month I don’t see any issues.”
Friend and Devilskull “roadie” Clarence Shipman adamantly claims he was the one who coined the name for the band, and he deserves the credit.
“Listen, I came up with that band name fair and square! You know how difficult it is to come up with a name for a metal band that hasn’t been used like, 100 times already,” Shipman exclaimed, adding he should probably get credit for the other three bands using the name as well. “And I’m the one that had the foresight to like down @DevilSkull666Official on Instagram. Metal branding isn’t easy. Do you know how many ‘Poisons’ there are? How many ‘Incubuses?’ It’s absurd, and I’m not stopping until they admit I did their dirty work!”
Music historian professor Randell Sweeney says the issue of band names or artist names in general has plagued music for centuries.
“Unoriginality with band names has permeated throughout music since the early days of man, really. There’s only so many words and phrases one can piece together without making it sound hipsterish or just plain stupid,” Professor Sweeney stated. “Even names have been recycled. Have you ever heard of Billy Joel? Not that one, I’m talking about the Billy Joel who sang to striking coal miners in the 1920s. No? Neither did Mr. ‘Piano Man’ and he decided to say, ‘Fuck it, I’m Billy Joel now.’ It’s a good thing copyright laws have changed, we don’t need any more Billy Joels.”
At press time, Devilskull has gone back to the drawing board to rename their best song “Trial by Fire” after realizing it’s been used over 1,000 times.