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Grindcore Band Argues Over What 473 Songs They Have Written Should Go on New Record

SEATTLE — Members of local grindcore band Gestation Crate were unable to settle a debate about which 473 songs of theirs should belong on their upcoming album, confirmed sources who recommended picking them out of a very large hat.

“Out of the 607 songs we wrote last week, I can’t believe we have to widdle it down to a mere 473 for the album. Wish we could use all of them but that would be a bit excessive,” said guitarist Luke Vabold while perusing the list of potential tracks. “There are about 310 that we all have consensus on, but then it seems to go off the rails after that. Like, ‘Mutiny Face’ should definitely be track number 412, but our bonehead drummer doesn’t think so, but instead wants it to be replaced by ‘Moist Venom.’ That one clearly doesn’t fit the aesthetic though. I just don’t want fans to think we haphazardly selected nearly 500 tracks for the album. That’s the last thing I want anyone thinking of us.”

Friends of the band believed they were making more of a show of it than it needed to be.

“I just don’t see why they can’t use all the songs they wrote for the album. After all, those 473 tracks only equate to 22 minutes total,” said Anthony Freden, friend of the band who occasionally attends practices. “Nevertheless, I’ve been here with them for the last 12 hours. Each member has been stating their case for their favorite songs while going through their normal arbitration process. It’s times like these that make me thankful I never learned an instrument and started a band. What a nightmare.”

Music historian Dave Hutchinson revealed how grindcore bands are just built differently than normal ones.

“Bands are never on the same page when it comes to what to include on their records,” said Hutchinson. “That’s why bands will often release records that were just the unreleased B-sides for the main album. However, grindcore bands write so many songs that they will also release B-sides, C-sides, D-sides, all the way down to Z-sides. It’s kind of impressive how much material they can pump out in a weekend.”

At press time, Gestation Crate finally nailed down the final tracklist but spent another six weeks coming up with an album title.