SYRACUSE, N.Y. — Drummer Brent Englewood of local punk band Crows and Ravens was uncharacteristically dejected after dropping one of his sticks while performing in front of a packed house on Saturday night, multiple cringed sources report.
“I….I…I’m not sure what happened,” a clearly distraught Englewood explained. “The place was packed, the energy was high and the entire crowd was loving every minute of it. Then it happened: I went for a very simple fill during our fourth song and next thing I know, the stick in my dominant hand went hurling across the stage and into the audience. The worst part is that I forgot to bring a backup pair, so I was forced to play the rest of the set with only one stick. I’m strongly considering entering the witness protection program or something to save face.”
Englewood’s girlfriend Mary Stonold noticed an immediate change in his behavior since the incident.
“Our relationship just hasn’t been the same,” Stonold said. “Whenever we go out to dinner, he just does this 1000-yard stare with his head down, directly into his food. I tell him it’s nothing to be embarrassed about, and that it happens to a lot of drummers. He even wears drumming gloves 24/7 now ‘just in case.’ I almost got him back from his depression before he accidentally dropped one of his chopsticks while eating sushi last night. He may never return to normal now.”
Music historian Todd Burke noted other musicians who found themselves in embarrassing situations on stage.
“Since its inception, rock and roll has been littered with onstage blunders,” Burke explained. “The standard for embarrassing mishaps was set pretty high in the early days. When Chuck Berry played ‘American Bandstand’ for the first time, he was rip-roaring through his performance up until the minute he did his first duck walk. He went scooting across the stage and all of a sudden, BAM! Blew out a knee right on American TV. His career somehow still took off even after that egregious gaffe.”
At press time, Englewood decided to duct tape his drumsticks to his hands during performances, which helped him maintain full control of them a good 75% of the time.