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Dave Navarro Admits He’s Surprised Nobody Punched Him Sooner

BOSTON — Jane’s Addiction guitarist, and “Ink Master” host, Dave Navarro admitted that he’s shocked it took this long for someone to punch him following an onstage incident with Perry Farrell last night.

“You know, it’s funny, most people take one look at me and think ‘This guy with the makeup and dumb hats must be getting punched on a daily basis, but truth be told this is the first time anyone has taken a swing at me,” chuckled Navarro. “I’ll be honest, half the time I look in the mirror I want to kick my own ass, and as soon as I put on a mesh tank top I figure that’s an invitation for someone to test my chin. But no, it’s never happened until Perry took a swing last night. Thankfully he punches like an absolute goon and I barely felt it. I don’t want this to start a trend where other people feel free to swing on me, but I won’t hold it against anyone.”

Dave Lincoln, one of the roadies who restrained Farrell after the punch, said the frontman is actually stronger than he looks.

“Perry weighs like, I don’t know, about a buck forty, a buck fifty tops, but man that dude has some fight in him. After we got in between him and Dave we tried to de-escalate but Perry had a rabid look in his eye. I wrapped my arms around him to restrain him and he started biting the shit out of my wrists,” said Lincoln. “I’ve spent most of my day at the hospital getting a round of shots to make sure I don’t end up with some weird disease. When I explained to the doctor who had bitten me his face dropped, that’s when I knew things were serious. They’ve actually had me isolated in a separate wing of the hospital as a precautionary measure.”

Rock and roll historian Eliza Knight says on-stage fights are becoming more common.

“When you have a legacy act playing a reunion show things will get volatile. These bands broke up for a reason, and many of those bad feelings might come out on stage. Pair that with decades of substance abuse and you have a powderkeg ready to explode,” said Lincoln. “It’s rumored that each member of Oasis has hired their own outlaw motorcycle gang as security to patrol their side of the stage and make sure the other sibling stays in check. Things might get bloody.”

Following the incident, many members of the Boston crowd admitted they were disgusted by the violent outburst and expected better behavior from performers in their city.