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We Didn’t Kill OJ, But Here Are Six Songs We’d Be Listening To This Week If We Did

New music is one of the most readily available forms of media on the planet, but you’re still listening to a scratched CD-R of System Of A Down’s ‘Toxicity’ in your car. What happened to you? As you make your way to work blasting ‘Chop Suey!’ for the billionth time, a dazzling world of new sounds passes you by. We have to put an end to this. Here are some new jams hand picked by our staff to help nudge you in the right direction.

Thursday “Application For Release From The Dream”

If you were wondering why your friend suddenly got bangs and re-pierced their lip, it’s because Thursday released their first new song in 13 years. If the lengthy title, ‘Application For Release From The Dream,’ doesn’t make you feel like you’ve been plucked from the modern hellscape and dropped into a 2000’s era Hot Topic, the band’s fresh-as-ever, genre defining sound will. Welcome back, Thursday. We’ve truly excited for our spin-kicks to have emotional depth once more.

High On Fire “Cometh the Storm”

Things have been getting pretty aggro in the office lately, and we have to assume that’s due to the fact that High On Fire is about to release their first new album in over half a decade. Within seconds of the band releasing the deliriously heavy title track to said album, ‘Cometh the Storm,’ four of our writers spontaneously grew beards and developed faded navy tattoos. We’ll be isolating them for our safety when the album drops in full next week.

Die Spitz “I hate when GIRLS die”

Austin’s noisy quartet Die Spitz released a new single, which means our Managing Editor has been asked to work remotely for the next couple of weeks. We can’t risk more furniture being destroyed and the Sabbath-infused riff mayhem on ‘I hate when GIRLS die’ threatens our windows too. When word got out about the surprise release, one third of our staff called in sick out of sheer fear. If you’re reading this, Gerald, it’s safe to come get your laptop.

Dehd “Alien”

Unless you’ve somehow been living under a rock, which is totally fine, you’ve probably been captivated by Chicago’s indie-rock trio Dehd. Their catchy-as-fuck, dancy, and simplistic grooves have made them one of the fastest-rising acts of the genre. Thankfully for our sadder office mates, they also know how to turn down the intensity without losing their earworm sensibilities. Their latest, ‘Alien,’ offers a cooled-down arrangement and one of the most endearing hooks we’ve heard in a minute.

Burning Lord “Clip My Wings”

One of our writers went missing for four days this week. When they returned covered in more garbage and sewage than usual, we had to ask what was up. Turns out they had been given an advance copy of Burning Lord’s debut album ‘Arcane Demolition.’ Within seconds of listening we understood the grimey condition of our beloved staffer. Burning Lord are making the kind of thrashy, vile, and debased hardcore that makes one want to start a circle pit in a city dump, which is apparently what our writer was doing alone for the front half of the week.

Pavement “Harness Your Hopes”

In one of the more bizarre shakeups of 2024, ‘Cut Your Hair’ is no longer the one song most people can name by the legendary indie slackers, Pavement. ‘Harness Your Hopes,’ once a majorly overlooked B-Side to the bands 1999 single ‘Spit On A Stranger,’ is now the band’s most streamed song by a long shot thanks to a TikTok trend called the ‘Utah Fit Check.’ We tried to get one of our younger interns to explain it to us, but they told us to ‘get fucked, old man.’ Some things are better left a mystery.

Because we know you’re now clamoring for even more music, we’ve compiled these and a fuckton more songs into a handy playlist for you. Click here to listen and dazzle your friends with your newfound relevancy.