15. The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe (2005)
It may not be the first movie to come to mind when you think of Christmas, but it’s about family, loaded with winter imagery, and features a cameo by Father Christmas himself! Plus isn’t the lion supposed to be Jesus or some shit? Actually, don’t go there, it implies that you know a thing or two about theology and you absolutely don’t. And you don’t have to! You just have to seem like a person with hobbies and or interests relatively unique to them, and making this your “favorite Christmas movie” can help get you there!
14. Bridget Jones’s Diary (2001)
Does your year-round personality scream “Horse-girl,” but like, not as interesting even? Consider making a viewing of “Bridget Jones’s Diary” your new holiday must! It’s got all the needless fat-shaming of an objectively attractive Hollywood actress that “Love Actually” has to offer but without the headache of having to track multiple mediocre stories at the same time.
13. Bad Santa (2003)
Coming in with more anal sex jokes than any film on this or possibly any Christmas movie list it’s the Billy Bob Thornton classic “Bad Santa.” Consider making people watch this at Christmas time your “thing” if you’re the type of NPC who “Just says what everyone is thinking,” votes for people claiming to run the country like a business, or owns more than one volume of the “Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader” series.
12. Meet Me in St Louis (1944)
Theater kids are expected to have a lot of personality, but for many, this can be a harmful stereotype. The fact of the matter is that theater kids are capable of being every bit as vapid and dull as IPA drinkers and dudes with posters of cars. It’s estimated that as many as 10% of them never evolve passed just liking “The Wizard of Oz” a lot. If this describes you, you’re in luck this holiday season, because it turns out Judy Garland was in other musicals, and this one has a Christmas scene! Would a non-descript person be all-in on Judy Garland? I don’t think so!
11. Edward Scissorhands (1990)
It’s sort of like the thinking person’s “The Nightmare Before Christmas,” provided that it’s “thinking person” in the brand way and not the actual having thoughts way.
10. Kiss Kiss Bang Bang (2005)
Shane Black loves incorporating Christmas into his films. You don’t have to know who that is or what that means just memorize it and practice saying it like it’s a thought you had and you’re good.
9. Moonstruck (1987)
Let’s have a little less “holiday cheer” and a little more “holiday Cher,” amiright?! You can have that. That’s yours now.
8. Friday After Next (2002)
Are you all about that 420? And is that about all you have to contribute to any given conversation? This Christmas, Ice Cube has got your back.
7. Iron Man 3 (2013)
Now This is a heavy hitter. Claiming it as your favorite Christmas movie makes you an obnoxious contrarian, an obnoxious Marvel stan, and an obnoxious Disney adult all in one. It’s like a default quirk hat trick! Plus it’s not even good by Marvel movie standards, so it has an extra little pinch of “Yeah, I’m technically unique, deal with it! But also please like me.”
6. The Nightmare Before Christmas (1993)
Whether “The Nightmare Before Christmas” is your favorite Christmas movie or your favorite Halloween movie, it’s a great way to show the world that you chose your personal brand when you were 12 years old and you see no need to change or grow in this lifetime.
5. Ghostbusters II (1989)
“Well, I guess – we’re – gooon – a – have – to – take – con – troooool” of the narrative that we don’t have any interesting personality quirks! Claiming “Ghostbusters II” as your favorite holiday movie is WILD! Hell, claiming it as your favorite Ghostbusters movie is wild! It’s an opinion most would consider too hot to handle, too cold to hold. Plus it’s got that undeniably dope song — you know the one we’re getting to — “Love is a Cannibal” by Elton John!
4. Gremlins (1984)
Okay technically “Gremlins” is a straight-up Christmas movie with some slapstick horror elements, but favorite Christmas movie? Only a fully developed person with convictions about things and a unique worldview would have an opinion like that, right? Right? Come on, we need this.
3. Elves (1989)
It’s like “Gremlins” but with less money and objectively worse. How does that make it an interesting choice for a favorite Christmas movie? Don’t ask us, we don’t make the rules. We just meticulously analyze them and hope that everyone buys the lie that we are a genuine human being with a rich inner world.
2. Lethal Weapon (1987)
Real “This non-Christmas movie is my favorite Christmas movie because I’ve got nothing else going on” heads know that “Lethal Weapon” puts “Die Hard” to shame in the holiday department. The whole movie is practically lit in Christmas lights, and it even ends with Murtaugh inviting Riggs into his home for Christmas dinner! Nothing short of Santa himself becoming a suicidal loose cannon played for laughs could make “Lethal Weapon” more Christmasy.
1. Black Christmas (1974)
Are horror movies like your whole deal? Like literally nothing else comes to mind? Then “Black Christmas” is the offbeat holiday movie for you! Christmas is right in the title so no one can fight you on it. Besides, at the end of the day, isn’t Margot Kidder being kind of a mean drunk alpha and then getting murdered by a pervert what the holiday season is all about? This Christmas, show your family that the love is coming from inside the house with a screening of “Black Christmas.”
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