Press "Enter" to skip to content

“Mega Man 2” Bosses Ranked by How Much You Should Avoid Them in the Pit

Everyone loves a good mosh pit, you get blow off some steam, impress your peers with performative fighting ability, and you look cool as hell the entire time. However, the pit can be a dangerous place. Especially when the Dr. Wily’s Robot Masters stroll and decide to ruin the entire vibe with their biomechanical weaponry and fighting styles. Remember, you’re just a flesh and blood human. You are no Mega Man, these guys can destroy you in less than a second.

Today we take a close look at each and every one of these bad guys to tell you once and for all which bosses you need to avoid in the pit in order to make it home alive, or at least with most of your limbs.

8. Wood Man

Yes, he’s built like a tank, but you can easily see him coming. He’s the guy that looks like a giant piece of wood. If you stay on the opposite side of the pit as him he’s going to be a non-factor. And if he gets pissed off what does he do? He surrounds himself with some leaves and then drops a bunch of foliage from the ceiling. Big deal, a falling leave has never hurt anyone. You’ve been to This is Hardcore for the past 12 years, you have seen far worse.

7. Air Man

Another absolute unit, but there isn’t much to worry about here unless you are an aging hardcore kid who’s wearing a toupee for some reason. All this dude does is act as a giant fan, if anything, this guy is a welcome relief. Like when a security guard splashes water on people between songs. Air Man is most useful just standing next to the drummer to make sure that guy stays cool, it’s hot back there and they are working hard.

6. Bubble Man

It’s unclear if this guy can even operate without being submerged in water. But let’s say Bubble Man shows up to the show and decides to be a pit boss. The only thing he’s going to be able to do is get the floor a little damp. So things might get a little slippery, but this isn’t your first rodeo. If you get too close to Bubble Man he might be able to make it look like you peed your pants, but nobody is even going to notice. He’s wasting his time.

5. Flash Man

We still aren’t really sure what Flash Man even does, he stops time for a few seconds? So what? But that makes him kind of a wildcard. He might just stand in the corner all night with his arms crossed, or he might stage dive feet first and dropkick you in the back. It’s tough to say, or maybe he will stop time for 3 entire seconds so he can cut you in line at the merch table.

4. Heat Man

The venue is already hot enough. It’s nearly summer, the place hasn’t had air conditioning since the first Clinton administration, and all the windows are painted shut. It’s sweltering, so you are going to want to stay as far away from Heat Man as possible. If you piss him off he’s going to set himself on fire, and then he can shoot himself like a fireball across the pit. Stay on his good side, maybe talk with him outside the venue and get him to light your cigarette, but avoid him in the pit if you can. Your new camo pants are a polyester blend that will melt to your skin.

3. Crash Man

Crash Man is the first dude in the pit and the last guy out. He goes off for the band the entire time because his cardio is insane, and he has drills instead of hands. If you do see him taking a break alongside the pit do not go near him, he will stick his arm out and drill straight through your spine and then be like “Woah, he hit me first. I was just trying to keep him off of me” as you bleed out on the floor.

2. Quick Man

This guy is fast as hell, and he throws multiple boomerangs for some reason. If you see him walk into a show then just find a place by the wall where you can keep a good eye on him. He’s going to start a circle pit during every song. It doesn’t matter if the band is a thrash band or a stoner sludge band. There will be a circle pit, he will run laps around you, and he will chop your legs off at the knees with his stupid boomerangs.

1. Metal Man

Much like Quick Man, Metal Man is fast as hell and loves to throw shit. But this guy doesn’t have silly little boomerangs. He’s got metal blades like you would see in a table saw and he has a lot of them. The guy loves to throw them too. Rumor has it that Metal Man is so violent he was asked to leave a Bad Luck 13 Riot Extravaganza show in 1998 because he was “Too dangerous.” If you see Metal Man at a show, get back in your car, go home, forget you listen to hardcore music.