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He Just Doesn’t Learn: 9 Other Times Mick Jagger Hired Hells Angels To Work Security Where They Stabbed Someone

On December 6th, 1969, just a few months after the Woodstock festival, a free concert was held at The Altamont Speedway headlined by The Rolling Stones. For security, The Stones hired the notorious motorcycle gang the Hells Angels to sit on the stage paying them in unlimited free beer. Tensions were high from the get-go, escalating when one of the Angel’s bikes was accidentally knocked over. During The Stones’s set, a man later confirmed to be on meth approached the stage carrying a gun. Members of Hells Angels detained him and stabbed him to death with broken pool cues.

The event was captured by a camera crew and became the focal point of the infamous documentary “Gimmie Shelter.” It was every bit as significant as the Manson murders in tarnishing the hippie movement and bringing the ‘60s to a spiritual end, but if you think that’s the last time The Rolling Stones collaborated with Hells Angels, you don’t know Jagger.

Presented in chronological order, today we examine nine other occasions where Jagger’s tendency to hire Hells Angels and pay them in unlimited alcohol resulted in stabbings.

Altamont, The Next Day

In what has somehow become a footnote in rock history, the organizers of the free concert at Altamont did the whole thing over the next night as a sort of make-good. The Angels promised to be on their best behavior so long as they were once again paid in unlimited beer, terms that Mick Jagger inexplicably agreed to.

By the end of the night, the Angels were throwing guns in front of the stage and taunting drugged-out hippies to try and pick one up. A total of three people tried and were promptly stabbed with pool cues.

Filming the Reaction Scenes in “Gimmie Shelter”

Yes, it’s confounding, but during the reaction shots of The Stones watching the first cut of the documentary Hells Angels are off camera, waiting in the wings in case the shit goes down. By the time the group hears the threatening post-Altamont phone call in which Sonny Barger calls Mick Jagger an idiot and justifies murder over a kicked motorcycle even Mick must have been thinking “Should I have hired these guys again?”

It definitely adds a layer to an already complicated documentary. After the screening, the Angels reenacted the stabbing to show their side of things and accidentally killed a cameraman.

His Daughter’s 10th Birthday Party

It’s understandable that in Mick Jagger’s elite world, even something as simple as a child’s birthday requires some level of security. All the same, it is truly baffling that Mick went with Hells Angels on this one. It’s even more baffling that once again, Mick opted to pay the Angels in beer.

Tensions came to a head when Mick made a toast “To the most beautiful little girl in the whole world!” Prompting Angels member Tommy Fingers to protest “Hey buddy, MY daughter is the most beautiful girl in the whole world!” He then charged at Mick with a gun, but was stabbed to death by some other Angels, with, yep, you guessed it, broken pool cues. They only killed one of their own but still, you have to imagine it had a damaging effect on all of those 10-year-olds.

To Periodically Attack Him So He Could Practice His Judo

Inspired by the rising popularity of martial arts in the 1970s and the film “The Pink Panther,” Mick decided random attacks would help him keep his judo sharp. Unfortunately, he once again succumbed to his two worst habits—hiring an entire motorcycle club and paying them in beer. The Angels would get so drunk waiting for Mick to walk down the street that they would forget what they were hired to do and just jump him all at once.

Eventually, Jagger resorted to hiring impersonators to walk down the street for him, and the Angels stabbed four of them to death before realizing what was going on.

His Knighting Ceremony

When Mick Jagger was invited to become a knight of the realm he was honored, but also a little intimidated. The idea of entering the Queen’s palace knowing it was filled with her own personal army of men who never smiled frightened him. Then he remembered that he too had a personal army of men who never smiled— Hells Angels, whom he invited along.

Tensions were immediately high. Several Angels were under the false impression that their fathers had died in the Revolutionary War, and they were eager to “settle the score.” To everyones surprise, however, London charmed the Angels. There are several photos of the Angels touring The Churchill War Rooms, taking in the sights from the London Eye, and picnicking in Hyde Park. But then they stabbed a bunch of teenagers on the top of one of those double decker busses.

His Simpsons Cameo

It turns out that even as a cartoon Mick Jagger doesn’t feel safe without his boys. He agreed to appear in “The Simpsons” under one condition; that a separate team of animators drew Hells Angels just out of frame watching cartoon Mick’s back. The Angels demanded to oversee the animation process and wound up demanding that artists animate a scene of them stabbing Hans Moleman to death. They even made Dan Castellaneta voice the line “I’m not even in this episode!” in his Moleman voice.

A Trip to Wholefoods

Apparently, some PR rep thought it would be good for Mick to be spotted doing normal everyday stuff for one of those “Stars are just like us” segments. Unfortunately, stars are not just like us, and some of them (Mick) bring Hells Angels with them everywhere they go.

The Angels went on a stabbing spree after seeing a single cellophane-wrapped banana being sold for $4. They were arrested, but when footage revealed that the employees they stabbed were indeed selling $4 bananas, all charges were dropped.

Hosting Saturday Night Live

They stabbed Lorne, but apparently, that’s not an uncommon occurrence. He’s more machine than man now.

To Protect Him From Hells Angels

A few years ago Mick finally recognized Hells Angels as a toxic presence in his life. Fearing retribution for cutting them out of his life, and perhaps in a display of waning faculties, Mick turned to his go-to fixers for protection, Hells Angels. Interestingly the Angels did take the contract, and when Mick gave them a manila envelope containing a picture of Hells Angels several Angels stabbed themselves before anyone realized the mix up.