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Five Songs We Listened To This Week That ‘Ruined’ Our Valentine’s Day Dinner

While you were all picking out flowers, crafting love poems, and filling the deep and gooey pockets of Hershey and Hallmark this week, we were here putting in the real work. That’s right. We’ve spent this week of love listening to new music, playing it over the house speakers at our partner’s favorite restaurant, being interrogated by the owner in regard to how we connected to the Bluetooth, playing the songs even louder instead of answering to such wild allegations, getting escorted out of the restaurant by security, punching one of the guards, and finally getting dumped in the parking lot. All so you would know what new songs came out this week. We only ask for a little gratitude, but the least you can do is listen. Without further ado, here are five new songs we listened to while looking for a new place.

Chime Oblivion ‘Neighbourhood Dog’

The disturbingly prolific Jon Dwyer is back at it, because sleep is for the weak and he refuses to let his output fall below 4,000,000 songs a year. This time, he’s joined forces with Bow Wow Wow’s David Barbarossa to form a new band Chime Oblivion, which seems laser-focused on cornering the profoundly-sad-but-still-dancing-dad demographic. If you’ve longed for a track that gives you a strong urge to do burpees in a graveyard, this is your moment.

Star 99 ‘Pushing Daisies’

Star 99 is releasing their album ‘Gamut’ this summer. The quintet’s latest single, ‘Pushing Daisies,’ certainly fits the season. It evokes the feeling of setting a mid-2000s indie-rock track on fire and watching it slowly burn while evaluating every decision you’ve ever made. The chorus hits with the kind of sweet melancholy that makes you wish you cared more, but hey, at least it sounds good in the background while you try to figure out if you can still afford rent this month.

Scowl ‘B.A.B.E’

Hardcore bands dipping their toes into pop isn’t exactly groundbreaking—just ask your jaded older brother who’s still bitter about that band you’ve never heard of ‘selling out’ – but rarely does it hit as hard as whatever the hell Scowl is doing. Their latest single ‘B.A.B.E’ sounds like a top 40 ‘90s hit stabbed you in an alley. It’s the bubblegum punk song that plays at the roller rink while you take an inline to the head. It’s catchy AND intense is what we’re trying to say here.

PUP ‘Hallways’

PUP’s latest single, ‘Hallways,’ from their forthcoming album ‘Who Will Look After The Dogs?’ is the mid-life crisis anthem you never knew you needed, but won’t be able to live without. It’s the kind of song that makes you yearn for your glory days while reminding you they were probably a lot less glorious than you remember. Since this one dropped, we’ve had to cover all the windows in our office to prevent our staff from wistfully staring out of them for hours upon hours.

Vulfpeck ‘New Beastly’

Even punks like to dance, and believe it or not, not every song we listen to requires you to roundhouse kick a stranger in the face to bust a move. The groove on Vulpeck’s latest track, ‘New Beastly,’ is so infectious that the CDC would probably be involved if they weren’t getting dismantled next week. Feel free to try out some new steps to it —perhaps a tasteful knee pop, a shoulder shimmy… anything that doesn’t end with you in court for breaking someone’s nose.

Because we’re so selfless, thoughtful, and rational, we’ve compiled these and other songs into a nifty little playlist for you. You can save it below, and play it wherever Bluetooth devices provide control access for multiple devices and aren’t password protected.