WILLIAMSBURG, Va. — New historical evidence suggests that former President Thomas Jefferson acquired a substantial amount of his wealth by cultivating and excessively endorsing CBD…
FORT COLLINS, Colo. — Health-conscious punk Stacey “Skaggs” Bellamy will no longer drive her rusted-out cargo van to purchase illicit substances, but will instead bike…
TORONTO — A dearly loved bong kicked off a six-person tour last night, starting in the last row of a van belonging to local punk…
DENVER — Local mother Amanda Howard suspects that her daughter Heather is experimenting with the drug CBD, citing the teen’s suspicious increase in productivity, energy,…
MYRTLE BEACH, S.C. — Your younger cousin Blake Liston-Schneider confirmed moments ago that he has some “dank nugs” if you’re interested in smoking any during…
DENVER — Local marijuana enthusiast Toby Strickland is “pretty sure” he is the first to invent CBD-infused marijuana, which he believes is an opportunity to…
BUFFALO, N.Y. — A small, unorganized local collection of punks, transients, and drug addicts with minimal artistic ability and motivation keep referring to themselves as…
INDIANAPOLIS — Recent college graduate Mark Robinson had a job interview yesterday he thought “went pretty well,” despite his inability to determine whether or not…
DETROIT — Avid cannabis consumer Jake Sweeney exploded in rage today after finding a seed in his marijuana for the first time in over three…
STANFORD, Calif. — Researchers at Stanford University’s Department of Biochemistry have developed a new drug test that simply checks a user’s Spotify playlists for the…
Tommy Chong is a comedy and counter-culture icon so it was pretty cool when he showed up unannounced at our headquarters this afternoon claiming he…
WASHINGTON — The entirety of the straight edge subculture is waiting patiently as a collection of hardcore elders draft their official stance on the non-psychoactive…
PIKE CREEK, Del. — A mysterious woman who left behind a half-smoked bowl at a party last night before rushing out the door is being…
A new scientific study conducted by you, your roommate’s unemployed boyfriend, and your dog Rocco via contact high, has concluded that the cops are outside…
RENO, Nev. — Local man and former alcoholic Richard McCann allegedly considers himself “totally sober” now, after switching the focus of his addiction from alcohol…