So you made it through another week, but have you made it through the most important news stories from the last seven days? If not, here’s your weekly round-up.
45 Minute Presentation About the Dangers of Wokeness to Open For Upcoming Disturbed Tour
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How to Spot an Off-Duty Cop at a Metallica Concert by Closing Your Eyes and Just Randomly Pointing
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Weird: Two Baconators and Seven Beers Not Sitting Right
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Black Metal Parents Keep Pestering Daughter to Give Them Grandkids to Sacrifice
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Gen Z-er Refers to Album That Saved Your Life as “Content”
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Nu Metal Bassist Gets All Tangled up in Floppy Detuned Strings
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The Hard Times Guide to Saying Nothing When a Young Person Discovers a Band You Like
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Mark Mothersbaugh Busts Out Acoustic Keytar at Campfire Singalong
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We Sit Down With Crust Punk Legend the Stinky Cheese Man
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Scientists Have Recreated the Real Face of Jesus if He Was Into the Insane Clown Posse
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Barenaked Ladies Reveal “One Week” is About the Time Phil Collins Saw a Guy Drowning
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Frontman Prays Bassist’s Name Comes to Him By Time He Finishes Introducing Rest of the Band
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