HELSINKI, Finland — University of Helsinki researchers released results of a study showing the Sunday Scaries are gradually encroaching on the earlier days of the week, according to colleagues already dreading Monday.
“As the name implies, the Sunday Scaries were initially limited to Sunday only,” said the study’s co-author Emilia Lutefisk. “However, we have observed anxiety associated with the impending work week has been creeping ever earlier for many working people. We attribute this effect to the stress of stagnating wages, the decline of unions and loss of governmental safety nets. Let me clarify–this does not apply to a lot of us here in Europe. The study focused on countries with weakening worker protections, such as the US and several third-world nations.”
Many workers have been noticing more of their weeks being consumed by the Sunday Scaries, as confirmed by perennially-stressed office manager Cynthia Stone.
“I think about work all the time,” said Stone. “And I have noticed that the fear of the coming week has been growing lately. I used to get the scaries around dusk on Sunday, but it’s been manifesting earlier. Forget having fun—I’d just like to have a nice, quiet weekend without counting down the hours until I have to be back at my desk. Sometimes I’ll stay up really late on a Saturday to try and stave off the inevitable, but I wind up sleeping super late and then spending what’s left of the day meal-prepping and doomscrolling.”
Self-proclaimed “grindset” influencer Michael Sphinx says the only way to prevent Sunday Scaries is to never stop working at all.
“How can you be worried about going back to work if you’re working every waking moment?” asked Sphinx as he edited a spreadsheet while Doordashing. “I can’t count how many jobs and side hustles I’ve got. The gig economy is amazing for people who need very little sleep and don’t care about having friends, hobbies or relationships. So no, I never get Sunday Scaries, because my Sundays are packed full with dog walking, double-shifts bartending and playing Spiderman at kids’ parties. It’s all about time management. I’m even developing a method to eat while I sleep, which will save me tons of time.”
At press time, Lutefisk’s team had launched a follow-up study to analyze alcohol consumption trends on Thirsty Thursdays in relation to Sunday Scaries.