S.L. Neechski
•
AUSTIN, Texas — Tesla CEO and impossibly moronic manchild Elon Musk announced this week that Tesla will begin locking the…
Read More →
Ben Friedman
•
LOS ANGELES - The Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences has employed a new strategy to engage younger moviegoers…
Read More →
Violet Meeker
•
BROOKLYN, N.Y. — Local man baby Tim Jeffers is looking to tweak his identity to be a silly guy, confirmed…
Read More →
Ben Friedman
•
WASHINGTON — The John F. Kennedy Center for the Performing Arts announced a three-week run performance featuring Terry Gillespie, a…
Read More →
Tim Sheard
•
PELHAM, N.H. — Local husband and father of two Randy Carlisle regularly misplaces his reading glasses, inhibiting his ability to…
Read More →
Neel Bhakta
•
SEATTLE — Local barista and dull plebian Marcella Flores was recently alerted that her longtime friend of 20 years has…
Read More →
RJ Atkinson
•
SANTE FE, N.M. — A recent study revealed that America’s primary source of education has been reduced to fun facts…
Read More →
Jesse Kubanet
•
BETHESDA, Md. — Lockheed Martin CEO James Taiclet recently released an Instagram video of him taking a bite of a…
Read More →
Jose Balderas
•
NEW YORK — Newly minted ICE agent Jake Barnes was overheard complaining about the agency’s ongoing leniency towards Irish and…
Read More →
Arielle Andreano
•
WASHINGTON — The Office of the Surgeon General released comprehensive guidance on using two large stuffed crust pizzas as a…
Read More →
