WASHINGTON — President Joe Biden was reportedly startled late last night after he was unexpectedly visited by his own ghost, concerned aides confirmed.
“Listen up Jack, I’m here with a dire warning about a crisis that will lead this country to ruin if you don’t make a change fast, but uh, I can’t quite remember what that message was,” said the Ghost of Joe Biden, appearing before his own corporeal form. “Don’t worry, it’ll come to me, it’s probably something about the economy. Or maybe it was some war, are we still in that kerfuffle with the Soviet Union? Well you know what they say, if it was really that important you wouldn’t forget. Wanna go get some ghastly ice cream?”
Despite being initially scared after seeing his own spirit appear to him, President Biden and his ghost have reportedly struck up a fast friendship.
“At first I thought my own ghost showing up was gonna be bad news, but I gotta say, Ghost Joe is a great hang. We went to Dave and Buster’s, shared some loaded nachos, and we even pranked Kamala by making it look like the nuclear football briefcase was floating across the room all by itself,” said Biden, redeeming arcade tickets for a pair of Nerf guns. “He seemed really stressed about something bad that was gonna happen to the country soon, so I’m glad we could take his mind off of it. I’m sure it’ll be fine, whatever it is, I still got another couple years as President to fix it.”
White House staffer Kevin Greene is concerned about how much time the two Presidents are spending together.
“Don’t get me wrong, I’m glad the President finally made a friend—but it’s just that we have all these judicial confirmations and bills he needs to sign before Trump takes office in January and they keep spilling root beer on the paperwork,” said Greene, picking up nerf darts strewn across the Oval Office. “Plus they keep trying to do the twin trick where they switch places for meetings he doesn’t want to go to. We almost had an international incident after Ghost Joe scared the shit out of Mohammed bin Salman.”
At press time, the Democratic National Committee was reportedly considering running Ghost Joe for President in the 2028 Election.