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InfoWars Studio Now a Spirit Halloween

AUSTIN,Texas. —Beloved holiday superstore Spirit Halloween quickly moved into the vacant spot where InfoWars once stood after Alex Jones was forced out due to financial trouble, multiple sources report.

“This is clearly a strategized ploy implemented by the satanic globalists to perpetuate their agenda of replacing every holiday with Halloween,” Alex Jones exclaimed while slamming his fist on his desk. “It has nothing to do with the verdict that I owe 48 million dollars. But they won’t stop me, no, no. I will not be silenced by the liberal elites. We got a killer deal with the people at the American Legion Post 132 to let us keep filming InfoWars in their basement. It works for now, even if they still have dial up internet.”

Cindy Forrester, a spokeswoman for Spirit Halloween, discussed why she believes the move is great for the community.

“It’s our duty to bring joy to the ‘spoopy’ people out there. So we were thrilled to take over a studio that caused so much chaos and replace it with our brand of high-priced Halloween decor, sorta like when one of our stores moves into a former Planet Fitness,” Forrester said, cheerfully. “We think the goths of the world deserve some semblance of happiness every August through November 1st, and all of humanity deserves an Alex Jones-free world year-round.”

Rabid InfoWars fan Bruce Perrinville weighed in regarding the changing landscape of his favorite program.

“This whole thing is bullshit,” Perrinville said while sitting in a beer-stained Lay-Z-Boy. “All the guys at the station and I watch InfoWars religiously. I forgot that they had to move the studio, and some weirdo Halloween store was taking their spot. Well, the crew must have left the cameras rolling because it took me 15 minutes to realize the hideous snarling puppet I was staring at wasn’t Alex Jones. It was a bit of a shock, but hell, I’d watch it again. I’m gonna miss his frothing tirades, though. I guess I”ll have to just settle for Tucker Carlson.”

At press time, Alex Jones was seen shopping at Spirit Halloween for an “Inflammatory Right-Wing Crackpot” costume.