PHOENIX — Local couple Mia Jaquish and Timothy Sickler spiced up their relationship by hanging a mirror above their bed so they can watch themselves engaged in the filthy act of eating takeout, sources close to the adventurous pair confirm.
“Things were getting pretty stale in the bedroom. It was the same routine every night. We would order Thai food, one of us would spill some sauce on the sheets, and then we would fall asleep in each other’s leftovers. But watching ourselves support local restaurants really brought the spark back into our relationship,” said Jaquish between large handfuls of steak cut french fries. “It feels so naughty to watch ourselves eat from every angle. Sometimes I’ll just look at the ceiling while Tim goes to fucking town on Buffalo wings and it really makes me salivate.”
Sickler says eating isn’t the only bedroom activity that the mirror has improved.
“Rewatching The Office is way more exciting now,” says Sickler. ”Plus, I’ll literally lay in bed and stare at my phone all day long, so having the mirror there makes it seem like I’m doing that with a friend. Also, I fucking love watching people eat. In college, I used to watch people eat on the internet at least once a day, sometimes multiple times a day. I always thought I’d be too insecure to watch myself eat, but having a loving, supportive partner who likes trying new things in bed has made me a lot more comfortable in my own skin. We’d love to take it to the next level one day and eat in public.”
Renowned Marriage counselor and author of “When To Tell Your Spouse You’ve Been Fantasizing About Their Siblings” Janet Rothcamp says hanging a mirror above the bed is one of the best things couples can do to help elevate their relationship.
“It’s so important to celebrate the things we do in bed because our beds bridge the gap between America’s two favorite things: eating and sleeping,” says Rothcamp. ”It’s no coincidence that we tend to eat and sleep more when we’re in a relationship. This is because both eating and sleeping distract us from having to talk to our partners. The more we eat and sleep, the less we have to think about how unnatural monogamy is.”
At press time, Jaquish and Sickler were once again going through the motions of sucking off the DoorDash delivery guy while pointing loaded guns at each other’s heads.