BATON ROUGE, La. — Local woman Georgia Luenette was stunned to notice that, aside from the ‘Check Engine’ light flashing on her car, she had nothing else going on in her sad existence, sources confirmed amidst half-hearted offerings of ‘there there…’ and ‘chin up!”
“At the risk of sounding far too vulnerable, I really don’t have too much going on in my life that drags me out of bed in the morning. But, when I get behind the wheel of my pre-owned Kia Rio, and that little ‘Check Engine’ icon lights up like a beacon from heaven, I know I’ve got something on the horizon,” confessed the public middle school teacher. “It may not be much, but it’s everything to me…just as long as the car doesn’t blow up before I actually get around to taking it into the shop.”
Mechanics in the area have begun theorizing when and if Luenette will ever actually address the light’s meaning.
“Seems to me that having a vehicle in perfect working order, especially one as crummy looking as the heap she’s driving around in, might be worth more to one’s peace of mind than a blinking light in your dashboard. But, hey, I’m just some guy.” said “Muffler Manor” owner Ivan Quinn, while slinging a greasy rag into a nearby hamper. “Whatever brings you joy. I personally have a lot to live for, but I’m an empathetic sort, so I understand. If her carburetor gives out on her and she goes hurtling over a cliff, at least she’ll be smiling, right? That’s about all we can ask for.”
Mental health professionals offered their official diagnosis while trying not to seem judgemental.
“Well, there’s no way to force someone to find more meaning in the good things they’ve got going but can’t seem to see. In this person’s case, the fact that she’s an educator should bring her some element of civic pride,” said Dr. Helen Buchwalden, from her Louisiana offices. “But, then again, as a mother of two 13-year-old twin boys, I know how stressful that can be. In fact, between you and me, I’ve been taking the long way home from work in order to leave my partner in charge of them for just a few precious moments longer, so I can be alone with my thoughts…and the ‘check engine’ light of my own.”
At press time, Luenette was seen tampering with her own vehicle, in vain hopes of getting more notifications and alarms going on her car.