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Band Booking Tour Wants to Know Deal With Bomber’s Van

NEW YORK — Local pop punk band Orange 17 has expressed interest in the fate of the infamous mail bomber’s van following his arrest, sources currently booking a tour reported.

“It’s really awful what he tried to do. We live in scary times,” said frontman Ryan Sadler. “But for real, that van is in really good shape, and we abandoned ours when it broke down somewhere in Jersey, so we’re definitely in the market. Who do we talk to about this? Does it get repoed or something? Should I just call 911 and ask about it?”

Drummer Cara Milton expressed apprehension about the potential negative implications of acquiring a van associated with several acts of domestic terrorism.

“I’m a little worried people will either recognize it, or think that we agree with the stuff on the outside of it,” she said. “On the other hand, we do need a new van, and I read on the news that he recently had new tires and brake pads put on that thing, so fuck it. Not like we weren’t just gonna put stickers all over it anyway.”

When informed of her daughter’s presumptive purchase, Kate Milton, Cara’s mother, expressed her disapproval of the idea.

“Absolutely not! I would rather they take my minivan out on the road again if they need one so bad,” she said. “It has just as many Trump stickers.”