Hard Drive Archives - Page 118

Anime Girl Has Massive Back Problems After Spending Entire Life With Her Knees Bent In

Peter Casciato • August 13, 2019

KYOTO, Japan — Mitsui Aya, star of the popular anime series Teenage Monster Slayers, has begun experiencing debilitating back pain…

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Sloth Furry Arrives Three Days Late to Convention

Neil Floyd • August 13, 2019

ROSEMONT, Ill. — A member of the regional furry community expressed frustration following the Midwest Furfest this past weekend, after…

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Friends Accidentally Touching Fingers While Passing Controller Forced to Imagine Life Together

Ben Doyle • August 12, 2019

BARNEGAT LIGHT, N.J. — Self-described platonic friends Nathaniel Hester and Dorian McIntosh were forced to imagine a saucy domestic fantasy…

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Inside the Grueling Three-Hour Workday It Took to Create Sonic ’06

Kenny Rohrbacher • August 12, 2019

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Lonely Gamer Just Wants Someone to Settle Down and Get Way Too Into Board Games With

Steven Porfiri • August 11, 2019

MINNEAPOLIS — Lamenting the scarcity of eligible women in online voice chats, Darren McDaniels announced Wednesday that he simply could…

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Agent 47 Finds Manhattan Jail Mission Weirdly Easy

Hard Drive Staff • August 10, 2019

NEW YORK — During his latest mission to kill and silence noted pedophile Jeffrey Epstein in the Manhattan Correctional Center…

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Epic Games Store Exclusivity to Come With Free Witness Protection for Developers

John Dixon • August 10, 2019

CARY, N.C. — Following recent developments with Ooblets and other titles, Epic Games have announced a change to their exclusivity…

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Awkward Man Botches Handshake After Failing Quick Time Event

Kevin Flynn • August 9, 2019

NEW YORK — Missing the necessary half-second window to input a button press, witnesses say local gamer Roger Dawkins completely…

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Man Wins Yet Another Round of Laser Tag Using Only Melee Attacks

Ben Doyle • August 9, 2019

NAPERVILLE, Ill. — Undefeated laser tag champion Patrick Manzke won his fifty-second consecutive melee-only game this morning, leaving some opponents…

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Resurrected TV Show Comes Back Changed, Comes Back Wrong

Jeremy Kaplowitz • August 8, 2019

LOS ANGELES — Fans of a popular television show were reportedly horrified to discover the altered state in which it…

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