Rob Steinberg
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February 2, 2018
CITY OF DIS, Hell — 78 percent of demons across the Netherworld experienced feelings of low self-esteem and body issues…
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Anya Volz
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February 1, 2018
SAN DIEGO — Daisey McKinley’s period asked her eyes and heart again this morning if they know when her white…
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Zac Townsend
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January 31, 2018
Well, it happened. My girlfriend shaved both sides of her head which I assume makes us, and therefore me, bisexual.…
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Rick Homuth
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January 31, 2018
VLADIVOSTOK, Russia — @DNCSorosTracker, one of the more successful Russian Twitter bots created to influence American elections, announced plans today…
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Cory Cousins
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January 30, 2018
PONTIAC, Mich. — 55-year-old Juggalo Kevin “Klown Syndrome” Anderson is concerned young Juggalos won’t continue the positive Juggalo message created…
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Rob Steinberg
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January 29, 2018
OI’ve had strong opinions about politics ever since I picked up a copy of the Dead Kennedys’ “Fresh Fruit and…
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Dan Luberto
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January 29, 2018
LONDON — Local steampunk Alexi Franklin was assaulted yesterday by fellow Pincham High classmate and noted steamjock Victor Gryphon, multiple…
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Johnny Mo
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January 27, 2018
CHICAGO — Climatologists are blaming record-low temperatures for the steep decline in Year-Round Shorts-Guy populations, resulting in a massive shortage…
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Danny Taverner
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January 26, 2018
NEW YORK — Progressive punk Otto Williams replaced the phrase “bum a cigarette” earlier today with “homeless person a cigarette”…
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Danny Taverner
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January 25, 2018
NEW HAVEN, Conn. — 13 ½-year-old punk Bailey Tolbert is in a “full-blown” midlife crisis, unsure what to do with…
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