John Danek
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WASHINGTON — President Donald Trump boasted that post-shooting vigil candle sales have been “way up" under his administration, during a…
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Brandon Kratkoczki
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BOSTON — Local father and tire store manager Dennis Bowman said the words “Pawn Stars” into his Xfinity smart-TV remote…
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KC Phillips
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Alright, bigshot. I get it; you just wanted to go out and have a nice time with your friends, but…
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The Hard Times Staff
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TORRANCE, Calif. — Longtime punk and father Al Diaz thoroughly interrogated his teenage daughter’s new boyfriend last night about which…
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Forrest Ferguson
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ATLANTA — 17-year-old Fumiko Ishioka startled audience members at a hardcore show last night, standing motionless in the center of…
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Andy Holt
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ASHEVILLE, N.C. — A Tinder date at O’Donnelley’s Pub Tuesday evening was reportedly almost too short for a local man…
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Mark Roebuck
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BHIMBETKA, Bhopal — The discovery earlier this week of primitive drawings left on walls by Neanderthals confirmed one of science’s…
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The Hard Times Staff
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SAN DIEGO — Local alcoholic Jerry Tatum announced plans to somehow ruin his niece’s wedding later tonight with his drunk…
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Peter Woods
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TUCSON, Ariz. — Local music critic and Spotify free user Jill Nesbitt named “Get in the Zone - Autozone” as…
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Brian Polk
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FORT COLLINS, Colo. — Tortured Metaphor merch guy and badass road-warrior Todd Sanderson was quite clear last night that he…
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