Culture Archives - Page 499

Dan Kozuh • January 18, 2019

JENKS, Okla. — Jenks East Intermediate School 8th-grader Dylan Barker reportedly humbled himself earlier this week by removing a single…

Scabby • January 17, 2019

Dear Scabby: My friend in his mid-20’s has been living in his parents’ shed and subsisting off of death metal,…

Dan Kozuh • January 15, 2019

TULSA, Okla. — Adamant atheist, open homosexual, and hardcore punk Ed Rossi is technically a better Christian than his biological,…

Kyle Sekaquaptewa • January 13, 2019

PITTSBURGH — A local punk house is gearing up for its fourth consecutive year of flu season, now plaguing residents…

Edgar Towner • January 12, 2019

NEW YORK — Legendary musician Sting is celebrating today the second anniversary of a full-body spiritual orgasm that began during…

Jeremy Kaplowitz • January 11, 2019

UNDISCLOSED — A secret job opening for an entry level position in the Illuminati posted today requires a minimum of…

Brian Polk • January 10, 2019

RENO, Nev. — Local man and former alcoholic Richard McCann allegedly considers himself “totally sober” now, after switching the focus…

Scabby • January 10, 2019

Dear Scabby: It’s only a couple weeks into the new year and I’m already ready to give up on my…

Charles E.P. Murphy • January 8, 2019

Due to the countless allegations against pop punk bands regarding inappropriate interactions with young fans, we were hesitant to sit…

Parker Newman • January 5, 2019

I have never been a religious man. That all changed the moment I came to the realization that, despite the…