HARTFORD, Conn. — An elite extraction unit was called in last night to save local hardcore kid Tom Rodrigues from…
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Patrick Coyne
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CHARLOTTE, N.C. — Local zine Weedkiller published their annual list this morning of the hunkiest, most eligible bachelors of Charlotte’s…
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EL PASO, Texas — Local musician Lenny Windsor was sentenced to two consecutive life sentences today for his part in…
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Dear Scabby: How do I tell my long distance boyfriend that I still live with my parents? -HOMEBOUND HOTTIE Dear…
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STAUNTON, Va. — Members of local band Schrödinger’s Wëasel are reportedly questioning bassist Wade Carr’s supposed graphic design experience, which…
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WASHINGTON — President Trump reversed this morning an Obama-era policy limiting the amount of guitar solos butt rock bands could…
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Patrick Coyne
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NEW YORK — Famed film auteur Wes Anderson unceremoniously announced today that his next movie would be about “a sad…
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Gary Doyle
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CHICAGO — Local man Mason Townsend is in stable condition this morning after being bit by an aggressive crust punk…
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Krissy Howard
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FORT WALTON BEACH, Fla. — A bowl of overnight oats successfully converted last week into a barely recognizable “glob of…
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Zach Raffio
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As a musician I pursue art for human connection. We all have a story to share. There are few stories…
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