Alex Salcido
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May 30, 2020
WASHINGTON — President Trump’s experimental use of the anti-malarial drug Hydroxychloroquine has transformed the Commander-in-Chief from a boorish, morbidly obese,…
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EGG HARBOR, N.J. — Spirit Halloween announced today that they will keep their stores closed until October, when they will…
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Brendan Kelly
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May 30, 2020
The other day I’m down in Pioneer Forest Preserve minding my own business, doing my thing. Next thing you know…
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PITTSFORD, Vt. — 28-year-old Alex Solorzano is now in his seventh week of blaming social distancing for his sexual inactivity,…
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Freelancer
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May 29, 2020
MINNEAPOLIS — Rioters protesting the unlawful killing of another unarmed black man at the hands of police officers successfully burned…
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Louie Aronowitz
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May 29, 2020
DUBLIN, Ga. — Members of the official Facebook group for all things related to Dublin, Ga., have finally stopped hiding…
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NEW YORK — NYC Police Commissioner Dermot Shea confirmed today that police shooting targets all come standard with their backs…
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Doug Francisco
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May 28, 2020
MUNCIE, Ind. — Sgt. William Porter, an active member of the Ku Klux Klan, was killed last night following a…
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DENVER — Lifelong sports fan Brian Pimento is allegedly now “all in” for German soccer club Borussia Mönchengladbach despite never…
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John Merrifield
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May 27, 2020
NEW YORK — Local two-timer Thomas McGibbons is looking forward to the end of quarantine after being stuck with his…
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