Nathan Kamal
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CHICAGO — Perpetually lonely heterosexual man Cliff Parker is living under the mistaken assumption that he would be getting a…
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Jerrod Kingery
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COMMON BEAGLE SMALL INTESTINE — Health authorities called upon legendary white blood cell police officer Osmosis Jones to come out…
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Freelancer
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AUSTIN, Texas — Local horny-as-hell woman Wendy Charleton fears what might happen if she were to get drunk alone with…
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Dustin Meadows
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WINNIPEG, Manitoba — Canadian classic rock band Bachman-Turner Overdrive announced around the crack of noon that they will not be…
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Patrick Coyne
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The September 11th attacks changed everything - including many films and TV shows from the early 2000s. Here are 15…
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John Merrifield
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IDAHO FALLS, Idaho — Local man and recent entrepreneur Shawn Roberts revealed a pillow he invented while stoned off his…
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Patrick Crooks
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CHICAGO — Local boyfriend who’s changed, he swears, Britt Keller promised on again-off again girlfriend Carolyn Mueller that he will…
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Contributor
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AUSTIN, Texas — Texas lawmakers continued their draconian war on reproductive freedom by passing a new law that would immediately…
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Dianne Nora
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NEW YORK — Fox News floated a self-proclaimed climate change expert into their flooded Manhattan newsroom Friday to assert that…
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The Hard Times Staff
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ATHENS, Ga. — Touring COVID strain Delta Variant surprised showgoers after being added to a sold-out show at local punk…
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