Tyler Roland
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KALAMAZOO, Mich. — Local stoner Dave Truman set out to prove to friends, family, and acquaintances that weed is not…
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Gary Doyle
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CHICAGO — Local punk Jacob Brown found his net worth has skyrocketed now that drink tickets are redeemable again at…
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Krissy Howard
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BLUEFIELD, W.V. — Local woman Erica Forster is currently on hour nine of watching 25 years’ worth of Blue’s Clues,…
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Dianne Nora
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NEW YORK — Compassionate Queens native Kacey Mora selflessly volunteered her time to help bathe actor and infrequent washer Jake…
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Nathan Kamal
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WASHINGTON — The White House has announced that Air Bud will lead talks with the Taliban because there’s nothing in…
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Dan Kozuh
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CHICAGO — Local nonagenarian Horace Miles finally settled on a design for what he would like his first tattoo to…
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Nathan Kamal
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CHICAGO — Perpetually lonely heterosexual man Cliff Parker is living under the mistaken assumption that he would be getting a…
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Jerrod Kingery
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COMMON BEAGLE SMALL INTESTINE — Health authorities called upon legendary white blood cell police officer Osmosis Jones to come out…
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Freelancer
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AUSTIN, Texas — Local horny-as-hell woman Wendy Charleton fears what might happen if she were to get drunk alone with…
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Dustin Meadows
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WINNIPEG, Manitoba — Canadian classic rock band Bachman-Turner Overdrive announced around the crack of noon that they will not be…
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