Jordan Liffengren
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AUSTIN, Texas — Aging punk Sean Dennings shocked the local community when he swapped a New Year’s Eve rager for…
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Ryan Dondero
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PHILADELPHIA — Local Punk, Sid Stott, announced his plans to improve his health and well-being by smoking healthier cigarettes in…
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Alex Vlahov
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MILPITAS, Calif. — Local data analyst Wendell Peters reportedly received the dreaded “we need to talk” text message, sent from…
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Charles Bill
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LAKE PLACID, N.Y. — Sexually curious man Alex Poe was forced to memorize three pages of acronyms before diving into…
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Ben Friedman
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SANTA FE, N.M. — Local punk Trevor McGill was shocked but not surprised to find the only existing photo of…
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Nathan Kamal
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CHICAGO — An undetected and increasingly dangerous leak from a gas main at the Rogers Park punk house, known informally…
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Emma Jonas
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OLYMPIA, Wash. — Professional punk magician Lyle “Skid” Harber is reportedly creating spectacles at a number of dive bars in…
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Matt Husser
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NEW YORK — Centrist supervillain Devin “The Devil’s Advocater” Jameston gave an impassioned monologue today revealing his plan for global…
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Dom Turek
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JOLIET, Ill. — Squatmate of the infamous Hell House Rodney “Worm” Mason is facing doubt from his peers after they…
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Doug Kolic
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AUBURN, N.Y. – Local dad and notorious shit disturber Walter Morris patiently waited for a lull during his family’s lovely…
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