Ben Friedman											 
										 
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											September 13, 2025										 
									 
									
										ORLANDO — Disney celebrated the grand opening of its newest park attraction today, consisting of a roped off area in…									
									
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												RJ Atkinson											 
										 
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											September 13, 2025										 
									 
									
										PROVIDENCE, R.I. — Local over-worked teacher Jason Nance was far more interested in her class’s Career Day presentations than her…									
									
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												Joe Rumrill											 
										 
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											September 12, 2025										 
									 
									
										POCATELLO, Idaho — The boyfriend of long-suffering woman Talia Lefferts reportedly took it upon himself to point out that a…									
									
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												Ben Friedman											 
										 
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											September 12, 2025										 
									 
									
										NEW YORK CITY — Self-described classical music aficionado Michael Rangel’s night at the Metropolitan Opera House was met with disappointment…									
									
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												Brett Olsen											 
										 
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											September 10, 2025										 
									 
									
										SALT LAKE CITY — Local born again crust punk Richard “Skuz-Dixx” Vanderbilt was recently baptized in sewage after deciding to…									
									
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												Scott Murray											 
										 
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											September 9, 2025										 
									 
									
										DENVER — Local flight attendant and longtime punk Jules Green held out the mic to a front row passenger during…									
									
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												Garry Kerls											 
										 
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											September 8, 2025										 
									 
									
										WASHINGTON — Health and Human Services Secretary Robert F. Kennedy Jr. claimed that he could tell a child is unhealthy…									
									
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												Adam Frost-Venrick											 
										 
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											September 7, 2025										 
									 
									
										WASHINGTON — Congressional Democrats achieved “yet another satisfying moral victory” against the GOP by convincing their Republican counterparts to rename…									
									
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												Mike Maher											 
										 
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											September 7, 2025										 
									 
									
										STOCKHOLM, Sweden — Iconic ‘80s pop duo Paula Abdul and MC Skat Kat were awarded the Nobel Prize in Physics…									
									
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												Tim Graham											 
										 
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											September 6, 2025										 
									 
									
										WASHINGTON — President Trump complained that the manual that details how to operate a fascist regime was “boring” due to…									
									
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