Category: Blog

The Next Hunter S. Thompson? I Drank Two Beers on Benadryl and Ruined My Son’s Birthday Party

Ted Pillow • August 28, 2020

Am I the future of Gonzo journalism? I sure hope so, because my behavior today endangered my marriage, traumatized my…

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Will You Adopt This Dog Despite It’s Views on the #Metoo Movement?

Patrick Crooks • August 27, 2020

It’s time for our Adopt-a-Pet post of the week, in which we highlight wonderful pets that are looking for their…

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We Listened To a Song by Lou Bega That Wasn’t “Mambo No. 5” and Now This Japanese Girl With Wet Hair Keeps Crawling Out of Our Computer Monitor

John Danek • August 27, 2020

Everyone on planet Earth knows “Mambo No. 5.” Even if you were merely an egg in your mother’s womb at…

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We Wanted To Cover the RNC While on Ketamine but We Took Too Much and They Gave Us a Speaking Slot

Aidan Sears • August 26, 2020

With the Verhoevian monster truck rally that is the Republican National Convention finally upon us, we here at The Hard…

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We Asked Our Supposedly Alcoholic Mailman What Poetry They’re Working on and They Maced Us

Zac Lux • August 25, 2020

Every day I see the mailman and I am transfixed. Every day I imagine the sound of empty bottles clinking…

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I Said I Was Looking for a Big “Tidy” Goth Chick and This Place is a Fucking Mess

John Danek • August 24, 2020

Ooo, I’ve never had mugwort/wormwood tea, but I’m excited to try! This is the perfect way to end a great…

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If Corporations Are People, Then Why Can’t We Target Them With Drone Strikes?

Constantine Platanias • August 23, 2020

In the United States, corporations enjoy many of the same rights as people — things like freedom of speech, the…

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My Dad Didn’t Die for Our Country Just for a Bunch of Liberals to Ruin It. He Died From Alcoholism

Ted Pillow • August 22, 2020

America is being destroyed by the liberal elite and it makes me absolutely sick. And it would’ve made my dad…

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We Sat Down With Mastodon to See What the Atlanta Scene Was Like During the Pleistocene Epoch

Zac Lux • August 21, 2020

We had the opportunity to talk with Mastodon and get the nitty-gritty of what they had to deal with getting…

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Help! I’m Pretty Good at My Job and It’s Ruining My Music Career

Jon Swihart • August 21, 2020

Boy, is my life in shambles these days. I just got promoted to district manager of Omega Printz and it’s…

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