As a Republican, I was initially delighted by Trump’s “Big Beautiful Bill,” particularly with the cuts it made to the Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program (SNAP), which will result in as many as 22 million families losing their food stamp benefits, with the money very smartly being redirected to the pockets of billionaires. This was just the kind of dynamic leadership our country needed. However, the downside of this bill quickly made itself evident when I considered how it would affect my weekly shopping. After all, how am I supposed to judge what poor people buy at the grocery store now?
Did Trump even stop to consider how this move would affect people like me, who love nothing more than to click their tongues disapprovingly when the person in front of them uses food stamps to purchase a package of Fig Newtons? Did he not wonder what I would do in the absence of the opportunity to mutter “unbelievable” under my breath when someone takes out a Golden State Advantage card to pay for their bag of Lay’s Cheddar & Sour Cream chips? Everybody knows lower-income individuals should subsist exclusively on bread crusts and water, and he has denied me the right to passive-aggressively express this belief in the presence of those whose need to eat greedily took up 1.5% of our federal spending last year. I never thought I’d say this, but I’m beginning to regret my Trump vote.
What am I supposed to do, drive to the local food bank so I can cross my arms and look disgusted from the safety of the parking lot while people funnel into the building? Believe me, I’ve considered that, but I have a huge backlog of NCIS episodes I haven’t seen yet, and it’s time to play catch-up. Frankly, I’m all out of options here. Are any of those brainwashed libs whining about our president shedding a tear for me? I don’t think so.
With my favorite aspect of shopping being taken away, I’m now forced to unleash my frustrations on the employees being paid $9/hour to stock the shelves (which is far too much if you ask me.) Such action makes me feel better temporarily, but screaming at a teenager for standing in my way while I’m perusing the Little Debbies only does so much. These SNAP cuts have left a hole in my heart that’s going to be difficult to fill, and I never thought I’d say this, but I’m hoping our next Commander in Chief is a Democrat so I can go back to haughtily sighing at the people I’ve deemed inferior to me.