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Oh, You’re a Joe Rogan Fan? Make 3 of the Dumbest Statements I’ve Ever Heard in My Entire Life

Oh you’re into Rogan huh? Well, I call bullshit! You got band-wagon jumping poser written all over you bro. If you’re really a hardcore fan of The Joe Rogan experience, prove it by making 3 outrageously stupid and provably untrue claims, now.

What’s the matter bro? I’m waiting. Aren’t you going to tell me I don’t need the Covid vaccine? You’re not gonna break down how Antifa militants started the Oregon wildfires? Any Rogan fan worth his Muscle Milk would have told me how Brazilian’s make the most aggressive fighters because of brain parasites by now. Jesus dude, do you even have a problem with feminists?

Don’t try to tell me you just feel “on the spot,” because even the most flustered Joe Rogan fan can fire out “Pretty soon straight white men won’t be allowed outside.” Also, a real Rogan fan would never feel “on the spot” because his mind is always prepared, thanks to a heavy regiment of OnIt brand nootropics, lions mane mushroom and DMT.

Bro the fact that you’re not even spewing borderline hate speech about trans athletes right now just makes me sad for you bro.

Fake fans like you make me sick. I bet you got vaccinated against Covid even though you didn’t need to because you’re young and healthy and spreading the virus to other people is a totally different conversation.

Seriously dude, all this time and you can’t even tell me that I need to eat more elk to become a super predator? You’re not going to warn me about the media’s attempts to cover up Joe Biden’s dementia?

You probably don’t even think it’s funny that Joey Coco Diaz only books female comedians if they blow him. You disgust me.

I wish the singularity was here already so that our brains were linked to the matrix and I could download your thoughts and show everyone what a poser you are, but that shits like 5 years away. Plus everyone else will be able to read your thoughts anyway so it would be pointless, not that your poser-ass already knew that or anything.

Do you even say “That’s interesting” after hate-group leaders rant at you? Get out of my face.