Every day, as our world becomes increasingly more globalized, we are bombarded with information from around the planet. Anything we want to know is right at our fingertips. Our opinions are more sophisticated because they are informed by data and backed up by empirical research. Which is why a new study from an Institute for Information or something is so important, because it basically confirms what I was already thinking without even having read the study.
The new study, which does not conflict at all with my views, unequivocally demonstrates that my closely held opinion has significant scientific support, and is therefore correct. A brief internet search uncovered the study after one of my idiot friends challenged me to support one of my staunchly held beliefs. Little did he know that this study basically takes all of that stuff he was saying and makes it null and void.
Not only does the study make plain that I am correct, but various charts and graphs add a significant amount of weight and legitimacy to what I was already thinking and have told people for years without even knowing about this study. It contains a plethora of statistics such as “66%,” and, “33%” and, “1/10 of 1%.” In fact, leading scientists say that in the next 10 years, we can expect my opinion to be above reproach.
Related: Fake News Must Be Stopped Unless It Supports My Wildly Inaccurate and Misinformed Beliefs
Are there studies that contradict my study? Of course there are. But if you take even a second to question the source of the study and who funded it, you will quickly realize most of those studies are total bullshit designed solely to undermine my study and earn money for some really bad people. Even though some of those bad people may have funded my study as well, it’s an unfortunate cost of doing business. but it need not taint the results, which, again, prove I am correct.
At the end of the day we ultimately have the choice of what we want to believe. Of course, if what you choose to believe is backed by an ironclad, peer-reviewed study, well then I think we know who is winning the next battle of wits at Thanksgiving, Dad.
Do you have studies that you use to shout down your Dad? Sound off with sick links to some dank studies in the comments below!