It’s October again and, in the culinary world, that means horror-themed confections! It is the season of sugar, after all. Nom nom nom!
Unfortunately for Mom, pumpkin-shaped Pillsbury cookies just don’t cut it anymore. Food has evolved, particularly in the field of decorative cakes.
All across the country, America’s top bakers are using the macabre season to pull out all the stops and showcase their spookily-delicious cooking skills. But when it comes to deadly desserts, only one really takes the cake. Get it?
We used our connections in the foodie world to track down the most unique horror-themed cake in the world and we found it in the culinary creations of Doctor Baron von Fleshmonger!
The Baron’s sadistic sweets not only look like severed human body parts but feel and taste like them as well! It’s truly quite unsettling! I did not enjoy the bite of “human leg” I took in the slightest and that’s the whole point. In his cake work, Fleshmonger favors authenticity over cheap draws like sweetness or edibility. Here’s a breakdown of our experience:
PRESENTATION: The theatrics involved here blew us away! We were blindfolded by a hunchback named Idalgo and shoved into the back of a hearse. Several hours later our blindfolds were removed and we found ourselves in front of a dilapidated gothic church in some sort of ghost town. Very exclusive!
We entered the spooky old church and were greeted by the Baron himself, fully committed to the character. He removed the lid from a silver serving dish to reveal a dead ringer for a severed human leg still wrapped in denim. It’s amazing what you can do with fondant!
TASTE: Quite fleshlike. Warm, bloody, unpleasant, I’m talking full authenticity. And oddly enough, it is hard to stop at one bite. The Baron attributes this to his patented cannibalistic-accelerant marinade, whatever that means!
AFTER-FEEL: Emptiness and despair. We feel every worry, care, and scrap of identity being overridden by a horrible hunger we do not want. A hunger for something more… fresh.
SUMMARY: Brains! Braaaaaiiiinnnnssss! We… must… FEED!