Coolest Kid in Sixth Grade Shows up to School With BTS Ventilator
LEXINGTON, S.C. — Forest Hills Middle School sixth grader Brynn Ruark effortlessly secured the title of “coolest kid in school”…
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Tyler Dark — Page 2
19 stories found
Aging Metal Fan Remembers When Songs Were About Simple Things Like Mounting a Golden Pegasus or Slaying Baphomets
LITTLE ROCK, Ark. — Aging metal fan Donny Burton went on another tirade last night about the general state of…
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School Boasts Smaller Class Sizes After COVID Deaths
OSPREY, Fla. — The Sarasota Friends School was pleased to announce this week that in addition to maintaining its status…
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Protestors Alarmed By Pallet Of ACME Boxes Left In Street
FAIRFIELD, N.J. — Local police were accused today of intentionally leaving a pallet of boxes labeled “ACME” in the street…
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Limp Bizkit Releases Chocolate Starfish and Hot Dog-Flavored Vodka
LOS ANGELES — Nü-metal darlings Limp Bizkit have worked with a local distillery to release their own exclusive, officially-licenced Chocolate…
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129 Clowns Test Positive for Coronavirus After Riding in Same Tiny Car
CINCINNATI — Over 100 professionally trained clowns tested positive for COVID-19 last week after riding together in the same tiny…
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Ghislaine Maxwell’s Legal Team Claims She Is A Scholar Athlete With Bright Future
BRADFORD, N.H. — Lawyers representing Ghislaine Maxwell, a confidant of disgraced financier Jefferey Epstein, are asking for leniency against their…
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Revised Food Pyramid to Include Feelings
Members of the World Health Organization announced last Friday that the iconic Food Pyramid will be revised to include 'feelings'…
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We Tried to Interview a Guy Inciting Riots but He Placed Us Under Arrest
Last night, some friends and I attended a protest in my hometown, in response to the police killing of George…
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