December 22, 2015
SPRINGFIELD, Mo. — Local frontman Spencer Wilt made an impassioned declaration to ISIS "and other terrorist groups," clarifying that religious extremists of any…
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December 17, 2015
BREAKING: Early reports indicate your Malaysian Facebook friend wants your defunct high-school band, Pig Abortions, to "come tour [Malaysia] already." The…
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December 16, 2015
AUSTIN, Texas - In a blatant display of entitlement, touring band Cheap Shot reportedly demanded legal, minted U.S. dollars -- in virtually any…
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December 15, 2015
JAMAICA PLAIN, Mass. - Silver-tongued punk Victor Gross resorted to complimenting a band he genuinely hated in hopes it would help…
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December 8, 2015
WASHINGTON - Members of Congress were called to a special session this week to tighten regulations on what can be considered…
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December 3, 2015
BROCKTON, Mass. - With Boxed Out's merch table set up and drink tickets secured, band manager Charlie Austin is reportedly "not entirely sure" what…
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November 25, 2015
DIXIE, Ga. - After a long, hard battle with their host's shower, touring band The Hammer and Nail have reportedly…
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November 25, 2015
DIXIE, Ga. - After several hours of futile attempts, not a single member of hardcore band The Hammer and Nail has figured out how…
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November 10, 2015
BROOKLYN, NY -- Standing in the back of the room with his arms crossed, local man Adam Franklin announced to…
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November 5, 2015
DETROIT - Presidential candidate and GOP frontrunner Dr. Ben Carson, who has made headlines with his contentious views on issues…
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