We Sat Down With First Wave Emo Pioneer Tom From Myspace March 16, 2021 Emo kids, unite! Old school emos only. So if you were there from the start, come on and pull on… Read More →
QAnon Theory About Daylight Saving Time Makes More Sense Than Actual Explanation March 14, 2021 SALT LAKE CITY — A new QAnon theory circulating on message boards about the truth behind Daylight Saving Time is… Read More →
6 Movies Where Christopher Walken Has a Watch Up His Ass But It Never Comes Up March 10, 2021 Everyone knows about Christopher Walken’s enthralling “Pulp Fiction” monologue. But that’s not the only time this eccentric thespian has played… Read More →
Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader? Then Say It To My Son’s Face March 9, 2021 Hey, you! Think you’re smarter than a 5th grader? Well, I pray to God that you are because my 10-year-old… Read More →
Pregnant 311 Fan Already Wasted All Her Favorite Names on Bongs March 9, 2021 SAN DIEGO — Seven-months pregnant 311 fan Shannon Kerrigan regrets using all of her favorite potential baby names on several… Read More →
Boyfriend Preps for Valentine’s Day by Building “Die Hard is a Rom Com” Case February 13, 2021 ST. LOUIS — Local man Brian Dorney’s Valentine’s Day preparations allegedly revolve exclusively around convincing his girlfriend that 1988 classic… Read More →
Uh Oh: Billy Corgan Just Realized “Minimum Wage” Rhymes with “Rat in a Cage” February 2, 2021 CHICAGO — Smashing Pumpkins frontman Billy Corgan finally noticed yesterday that “minimum wage” rhymes with “rat in a cage,” according… Read More →
Biden Worried Netflix Won’t Know Where to Mail His DVDs Now January 31, 2021 WASHINGTON — Newly-inaugurated President Joe Biden is extremely concerned that “The Netflix” won’t know to send his rental DVDs to… Read More →
Pizzeria That Accidentally Spilled Bud Light on Pizza Just Calling It “Florida Style” January 20, 2021 RALEIGH, N.C. — Uncle Sal’s Pizzeria unveiled a new “Florida-style” pizza yesterday after an employee accidentally spilled a lukewarm Bud… Read More →
Friend From 11th Grade Who Loved Pantera Still in 11th Grade January 18, 2021 KINGS PARK, N.Y. — 41-year-old Pantera megafan Ray “Nickelbag” Shipley is still enrolled in 11th grade at Kings Park High… Read More →