Page 6 – HARDTIMES

April 4, 2021

We’ve all been there: you’re out crushing $4 domestics at Dave & Buster’s with the boys and, after a few…

April 2, 2021

In a landmark victory for noncorporeal cannabis reform, the Ghostbusters announced via their tax lawyer Louis Tulley that they are…

March 16, 2021

Emo kids, unite! Old school emos only. So if you were there from the start, come on and pull on…

March 14, 2021

SALT LAKE CITY — A new QAnon theory circulating on message boards about the truth behind Daylight Saving Time is…

March 10, 2021

Everyone knows about Christopher Walken’s enthralling “Pulp Fiction” monologue. But that’s not the only time this eccentric thespian has played…

March 9, 2021

Hey, you! Think you’re smarter than a 5th grader? Well, I pray to God that you are because my 10-year-old…

March 9, 2021

SAN DIEGO — Seven-months pregnant 311 fan Shannon Kerrigan regrets using all of her favorite potential baby names on several…

February 13, 2021

ST. LOUIS — Local man Brian Dorney’s Valentine’s Day preparations allegedly revolve exclusively around convincing his girlfriend that 1988 classic…

February 2, 2021

CHICAGO — Smashing Pumpkins frontman Billy Corgan finally noticed yesterday that “minimum wage” rhymes with “rat in a cage,” according…

January 31, 2021

WASHINGTON — Newly-inaugurated President Joe Biden is extremely concerned that “The Netflix” won’t know to send his rental DVDs to…