WASHINGTON — The United States Treasury announced they will introduce another round of ⅛” to ¼” adaptors into public circulation for the first time in…
ST. LOUIS, Mo. — Local crust punk Lou “Canker Sore” Schultz revised his bucket list to include getting a disease named after him in an…
APPLETON, Wis. — Teenage prodigy Shari Ford is being hailed as the next great bassist after mastering the electric bass guitar 16 minutes into her…
TULSA, Okla. — Local venue owner Michelle Kirk reportedly doubled her gross income by installing a new booth that sells photos of audience members actively…
LEXINGTON, Ky. — Local musician Teddie Hutchinson broke his 23-day streak of avoiding anything resembling a natural food when he accidentally ingested a mouthful of…
NEW YORK — Members of Racked Brain returned from a weekend “tour” and immediately began telling their friends tales of a “packed and absolutely bonkers”…
Alright, listen. I’m sick of dealing with this over and over again, so I’m setting the record straight for good right now. Every couple of…
HOPKINGTON, Mass. — Local creep Brad Hinton announced his plans to run a full marathon, moments after seeing a woman with visible tattoos 26.2 miles…
CHATTANOOGA, Tenn. — Local punk Matthew Verne reportedly suffered an immense financial loss after his mother repurposed over $26,000 worth of old band shirts into…
EUGENE, Ore. — Local actuary Kelly Freeman reported that her recent breakup from noise musician Floyd Harrell has “completely ruined” the genre for her, but…
ANN ARBOR, Mich. — Representatives from HBO Max and the creative team behind Andrew W.K. announced plans to air a reunion special featuring all seven…
IOWA CITY, Iowa — Local high school teacher Valerie Kaur is attempting to improve student engagement by referring to symbolism as “Easter Eggs” in her…
It’s always a tragedy when a monumental artist is taken from us too soon, but in my opinion, none of these losses are more tragic…
The journey I took to finally feeling happy when I’m completely alone started with a simple problem: whenever I was alone, I felt really horny…
TORONTO — Local post-rock band To Lay in a Store of Sucking Stones unveiled a “Skip Intro” feature designed by programmers at Netflix for their…