All of Punk’s Good Deeds Court-Mandated March 9, 2020 NEW YORK — Local punk Johnny Tolbert’s extensive record of good deeds and “random acts of kindness” are all simply… Read More →
Punk’s Retirement Plan Hinges On Dying Young December 9, 2019 TULSA, Okla. — Local punk Eddie Abrams’s plans to retire are reportedly contingent upon his dying young and nothing else,… Read More →
Is She Madly in Love With You, or Just a Bartender Doing Her Job? July 20, 2019 We’ve all been there before- you’re checking out the trendy new bar in town and you really hit it off… Read More →
Guy Who Bought Vinyl Before Show Moshes Carefully July 7, 2019 ALBUQUERQUE, N.M. — Local hardcore kid Connor Razzo moshed very cautiously at a show last night to protect the record… Read More →
Dropkick Murphys Fan Arrests Kid at Basement Show March 17, 2019 WORCESTER, Mass. — Undercover police officer and avowed Dropkick Murphys fan John McMullin made a sudden and brutal arrest of… Read More →
I Just Met the Ghost of Tom Waits, Which Is Weird Because He’s Still Alive January 25, 2019 So there I was, taking the shortcut home from work. Normally I take the long way home, but tonight I… Read More →
Anxious Punk Relieved Show Too Loud to Hear Himself Think November 16, 2018 ST. PAUL, Minn. — Local punk and notorious overthinker Ben Handley was relieved last night to attend a show so… Read More →
Study Finds Next Song Goes ‘…a Little Something Like This’ November 5, 2018 SACRAMENTO, Calif. — A study completed last week at the University of California-Davis found that the next song “...goes a… Read More →
Woman Meeting Blind Date At Show Told To Look For White Dude In Black Shirt November 2, 2018 NEW ORLEANS — Local punk Sarah Moreno was seen scouring the crowd at a show last night for her blind… Read More →
Drake Giving Attention to Wrong Child September 23, 2018 LOS ANGELES — Reports indicate Drake gives an inappropriate amount of attention to Stranger Things star Millie Bobby Brown, who… Read More →