CHICAGO, IL– Following a night of heavy drinking, serial frontman Brody Brooks left his longtime partner feeling angry and insecure after screaming the name of…
KERHONKSON, NY — Sources report a local black metal band has been missing for over 16 hours following a “totally brutal” photo session that took…
NEW HAVEN, Conn. – After purchasing Yngwie Malmsteen’s Trilogy, an album with a cover depicting the musician slaying a three-headed dragon with his six-string battle…
BOULDER, Colo. – Local counterculture bookstores were once a bastion of fringe thought in America, providing anarchists, atheists, communists, radical feminists, anarcho-communists, queer collectivists, post-colonial…
SEATTLE – Residents of the hip Capitol Hill neighborhood of Seattle are lining up daily around the block for treats from The Dough & Nut,…
BROOKLYN – After receiving what they thought was a “hook up” from an artistically inclined friend, straight edge locals Lethal Injexion have been left scrambling to…
SIOUX FALLS, S.D. – A local researcher with a self-proclaimed “vast, encyclopedic knowledge of punk rock” claims to have unearthed definitive evidence that music isn’t…
KNOXVILLE, TN – A local band is in a race against the clock to distribute flyers for their upcoming gig. The only problem: fucking nobody…
LANSING, MI — BREAKING: A circus elephant has broken free from his cage at the Dark Carnival, a fictional world detailed in a series of…
PHOENIX, AZ — 67-year-old Edna Berman still fears that KISS may be a negative influence on her adult son, Tim Berman. “I caught my son listening to…
SAN JOSE, CA — The cryptically-named pop punk band Blink-182 were honored for their contributions to internet security in a ceremony last night, when they…
NEWARK, N.J. — Unassuming airline passenger Peter Monahan was treated to an “energetic” and “unending” spoken word concert from former Dead Kennedys frontman Jello Biafra…
AUSTIN, Texas — Reports indicate tensions in the small, two-bedroom apartment shared by Jessica Murray and her new roommate Agnes Lustica have reached a boiling…